I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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