they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
