Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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