I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
