Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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