Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's never too late to be topless.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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