Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
