Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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