He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
