So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude i'm inner monologue high
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
