so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
