whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Randomize
