Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
