oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
