I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
