I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
bring money and cleavage
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
