no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
