Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
