I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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