I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
