Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
