hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
