can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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