no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
