Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
