Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
