dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
