Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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