I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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