Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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