Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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