Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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