i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
