can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Randomize
