The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
