And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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