K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I understand Curling. That high.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
