Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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