the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
