I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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