do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
