im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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