It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just pynch a tree in the face
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
