South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
