in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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