Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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