In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
