Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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