I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
