HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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