you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
